Why do Men Take Longer to Poop?

By John Cruz

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Do men really take longer to poop?

Many households have different takes on this fecal matter, but what is the real answer?

The reasons for such a question stems from the memes on Twitter and other social media channels.

Some say, “wow, that is so true,” while others might think the opposite.

With such a topic, I wanted to share my thoughts.

Like everyone else, we, too have the debate in our house.

With 6 butts to get data from, we have come up with some statistics of our own.

The end result is that I (the man) actually take the longest to poop.

But, I have my reasons.


Why do Men Take Longer to Poop?

For my wife and I, this is very much debatable.

Me, I sit on the toilet for a very, very long time.

But there’s a reason why I do it, and it’s also the same reason why I think most men take longer to poop.

While I’m at it, let me start with my #1 reason why men take longer to poop, and then I can speak for others.

Great Place to Get Work Done

As a dad of four that works from home, getting work done is not the easiest task.

I wake up at 4 am on a daily basis, as those few hours before everyone wakes up are one of the best times for me to get work done.

However, I can still be productive, and working while on the toilet is one of them.

It might sound gross, but you’re probably reading this from your toilet.

Don’t feel weird, though, as studies have shown that 90% of people bring their phones to the bathroom.

The other 10% probably don’t have one or aren’t on social media, which is okay too.

Now, if the word on the street is that men sit on the John a lot longer than women, why in the world is that so?

They Eat More

My daughter Acacia says men take longer to poo because they eat more.

I guess you don’t need to be a doctor to explain some of the simpler things in life, right?

I’m sure we can all agree with her that men need to go more, and sometimes it’s because men eat a lot more than women.

It’s not rocket science, and it’s a very valid reason why men take longer to poo.

Break From Kids

I’m not guilty, as I love spending time with my kids.

However, some dads try to run away for a bit, and one of those places is the bathroom.

I can see this happening with the modern parents of today, but I don’t see it as just the dads.

Both genders run to the toilet, and although they might have a little to drop off, the “need” was probably never there.

Health Issues

Men tend to indulge in things that aren’t the healthiest.

We like to overdo it with things like pizza and beer, which I’m sure is not the best for your health.

In a study from Harvard Health, women were likely to eat 50% more fruits and vegetables than men.

That alone should tell you why men take longer to poop than women.

Some Women Take Long to Poop, Too

In my household, I used to be the only one to take long to poop, but that has changed.

Thanks to social media and this thing called YouTube, other members of my household are taking longer poops than usual.

My wife can sit on the toilet for a long time and trust me, she is not doing anything productive.

Conclusion – Men Might Take Longer to Poop

From a health/medical standpoint, I can see men taking longer to poop.

From a view of the modern world we live in, there is no real answer.

I believe we all take longer to poop than we did a decade ago, and you can thank that little device of yours.

At the end of the day, as long as you practice good hygiene and quit dodging your kids, hanging out on the toilet is not the worst thing.

Don’t go sitting there for over half an hour though, as that is just a complete waste of time.

Be the better man and give up the porcelain.

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